Make up a story about something strange that happened on the way to school.
This is my draft
A strange thing happened on the way to school today
I was walking to school then felt the ground shaking I look behind myself than I saw a zombie arm coming out of the ground. I ran has fast as I can I was trying to hide from the zombie’s there was abandoned vehicle I hid in the boot looking for something to protect myself all I found was old wet stick I had little peak at the window I see man running for his life he had gun In his hand.But I just noticed that it was not abandoned it was car I tried to escape I just made out but the guy couldn't drive and then hit truck the truck hit mostly all the zombies.But the big problem was that it was one of the truck that had gas on them I saw gas leaking I thourth in my mind that I going to EXPLODE I ran as far I could all the zombie’s walk to the truck the BLEW Up killing all the zombie’s.
This is my final
A strange thing happened on the way to school today
I was walking to school then I felt the ground shaking I look behind myself than I see a zombie arm coming out of the ground. I ran has fast as I can I was trying to hide from the zombie’s there was abandoned vehicle I hid in the boot looking for something to protect myself all I found was old wet stick I had little peak at the window I see man running for his life he had gun In his hand.But I just noticed that it was not abandoned it was his car I tried to escape I just made out but the guy couldn't drive and then hit truck the truck hit mostly all the zombie’s.But the big problem was that it was one of the truck that had gas on them I saw gas LEAKING! I thought in my mind that It going to EXPLODE! I ran as far I could all the zombie’s were waking to the truck then it BLEW UP! killing all the zombie’s.
My assessment
Assessment:
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Self
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Peer
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Teacher
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Ideas
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4
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4
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Struct & Lang
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3
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3
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Hi Saia, I really enjoyed reading your piece of writing. I like how you described the vehicle ¨abandoned.¨ I think that you could´ve described the zombie. Please fix your blog post because it is sometimes really annoying when you slide sideways. Although this was a great piece of writing.
ReplyDeletehi Saia I really like your story but is a little bit something wrong but its okay you should put more information, paragraph and full stops but good keep the good work.
ReplyDelete