My pet choice

Last week writing A pet of choice
 I choice a indoraptor
This was our instructors

• Write your draft in the Draft section of the table below, in the box by your name.
• Provide Feedback on your writing buddy’s draft writing in the Feedback section of his/her writing box.
• Read the feedback from your writing buddy.
• Copy your draft writing into your Final box and revise this based on the feedback you have received.
• Assess the final version of your own writing for ideas using the Writing Rubric.
• Peer-assess the final version of your writing buddy’s writing for ideas using the Writing Rubric.

 

This my feedback what I got

These are good ideas, Saia, but you haven’t used enough persuasive language. You could say what the benefits of having an indoraptor would be. For example, would it be a good guard dog? Also you were asked to write two paragraphs, not just one.

Can I have a indoraptor for my pet?

I want indoraptor because has  lots of commands also I will take care of it The indoraptor Dna is mix with a raptor, indominus rex   It is more powerful than a normal raptor,indominus rex.We would need enormous cage for the indoraptor.The Indoraptor is great guard because would be frightened  because it is a massive dinosaur.

This is my Final

Can I have a indoraptor for my pet?

I want indoraptor because has lots of commands also I will take care of it The indoraptor. Dna is mix with a raptor, indominus rex It is more powerful than a normal raptor,indominus rex.We would need enormous cage for the indoraptor.The Indoraptor is great guard because would be scared cause it is a massive dinosaur.

My Assessment

Assessment:	Self	Peer	Teacher
Ideas	4	4	3