B&E

For B&E-Businesses Enterprise me and my group are doing carnival our game is Hoop-la our prizes are board games and free Bnz pens our plan for our little mini carnival game was that we would need people to supervise our in case of cheating. There were be no competitive we didn't want it to make it that easy for people also we want some with bucket to put the money in case no one pays for our game.

A strange thing happened on the way to school today

Our writing was about  A strange thing happened on the way to school today

Make up a story about something strange that happened on the way to school.

This is my draft

A strange thing happened on the way to school today

I was walking to school then felt the ground shaking I look behind myself than I saw a zombie arm coming out  of the ground. I ran has fast as I can I was trying to hide from the zombie’s there was abandoned vehicle I hid in the boot looking for something to protect myself all I found was old wet stick I had little peak at the window I see man running for his life he had gun In his hand.But I just noticed that it was not abandoned it was car I tried to escape I just made out but the guy couldn't drive and then hit truck the truck hit mostly all the zombies.But the big problem was that it was one of the truck that had gas on them I saw gas leaking I thourth in my mind that I going to EXPLODE I ran as far I could all the zombie’s walk to the truck the BLEW Up killing all the zombie’s.

This is my final

A strange thing happened on the way to school today

I was walking to school then I felt the ground shaking I look behind myself than I see a zombie arm coming out  of the ground. I ran has fast as I can I was trying to hide from the zombie’s there was abandoned vehicle I hid in the boot looking for something to protect myself all I found was old wet stick I had little peak at the window I see man running for his life he had gun In his hand.But I just noticed that it was not abandoned it was his car I tried to escape I just made out but the guy couldn't drive and then hit truck the truck hit mostly all the zombie’s.But the big problem was that it was one of the truck that had gas on them I saw gas LEAKING! I thought in my mind that It going to EXPLODE! I ran as far I could all the zombie’s were waking  to the truck then it BLEW UP! killing all the zombie’s.

My assessment

Assessment:	Self	Peer	Teacher
Ideas	4	4
Struct & Lang	3	3

My pet choice

Last week writing A pet of choice
 I choice a indoraptor
This was our instructors

• Write your draft in the Draft section of the table below, in the box by your name.
• Provide Feedback on your writing buddy’s draft writing in the Feedback section of his/her writing box.
• Read the feedback from your writing buddy.
• Copy your draft writing into your Final box and revise this based on the feedback you have received.
• Assess the final version of your own writing for ideas using the Writing Rubric.
• Peer-assess the final version of your writing buddy’s writing for ideas using the Writing Rubric.

 

This my feedback what I got

These are good ideas, Saia, but you haven’t used enough persuasive language. You could say what the benefits of having an indoraptor would be. For example, would it be a good guard dog? Also you were asked to write two paragraphs, not just one.

Can I have a indoraptor for my pet?

I want indoraptor because has  lots of commands also I will take care of it The indoraptor Dna is mix with a raptor, indominus rex   It is more powerful than a normal raptor,indominus rex.We would need enormous cage for the indoraptor.The Indoraptor is great guard because would be frightened  because it is a massive dinosaur.

This is my Final

Can I have a indoraptor for my pet?

I want indoraptor because has lots of commands also I will take care of it The indoraptor. Dna is mix with a raptor, indominus rex It is more powerful than a normal raptor,indominus rex.We would need enormous cage for the indoraptor.The Indoraptor is great guard because would be scared cause it is a massive dinosaur.

My Assessment

Assessment:	Self	Peer	Teacher
Ideas	4	4	3